A couple of weeks ago it dawned on me that I shouldn’t be complaining a lot about my Daniel’s sleep/wake pattern, because I have it good. True, some things are not working the way I had hope they would be, but nevertheless, he is sleeping 12-14 hours a day, which is ideal. Some parents couldn’t even get their baby to nap, yet there I was, complaining and continuously whining about it.

During the day, he naps an hour in the morning and two hours in the afternoon. But within those times, he continuously wakes up  every 30 minutes. How his body tracks of the time, I don’t know. But one thing for sure, on the dot, after the first half hour, he starts fussing and start a soft cry. If I don’t get to him fast, he will be fully awake and difficult to rock back to sleep. Here lies my problem. After the first hour, it is difficult to get him off my arms. If I put him down right away, though he appears to be in a deep sleep, he will immediately wake up, say 5-10 minutes later. If I hold him though, he would sleep straight. This got me to the point where I was at my wits end. I needed him to nap straight and off my arms, at least a full hour, so I could get some things done. Back at 5 months he was doing fine, but soon as he hit 6 month, things changed. I’ve searched and read articles and books about teaching your baby to soothe himself back to sleep, but none seems to be working for me.

That’s when I consulted some friends, hoping to get some tips that might help me with my dilemma. After listening to their stories, I found out that Daniel was actually doing much better. A friend told me, she couldn’t even get his son to nap at all. Another friend says, her child will not even sleep longer than 6 hours at night. One friend couldn’t get her child to nap anywhere but his crib, which was a nightmare when they are out. And finally, our pediatrician said that Daniel with that amount of sleep was doing perfectly (silence). And so there I go, I thought, “what was the problem again?”.

At night, there isn’t much problem. He sleeps through the night already, at least a stretch of 6 hours before he fusses for his middle of the night bottle. The night time fussing lessened soon as we went back to co-sleeping. When he fusses, he goes right back to sleep with just a soft pat at the back. My only other complaint was he started waking up too early, around 4-5am. That made me a bit miserable. We tried everything we could think of, putting dark shades up the window, adjusting his bed time schedule, putting him in his crib before 3am so he’ll be in a deep sleep after his midnight bottle, anything we can think of. But he kept waking up before sunrise.

Then finally, I ceased searching for solutions. The last baby sleep book I read was, “The 90-Minute Baby Sleep Program or the N.A.P.S. Plan” by Polly Moore, P.H.D. Daniel’s doctor lend me this book. After reading the book, it hit me then. I was actually doing exactly what’s in it since he was two months old, even without having read it before. So, it turned out, I am in tuned with my baby’s natural body clock. I thought all along, there must be something wrong with his sleep schedule, either he was not sleeping enough or too much.

So I thought, alright, length or time of sleep was not a problem at all. It is wanting him to nap off my arms. I wanted some change in that arena. I had some time to think about it, and not being able to come up with a solution, I gave up. I had decided to accept what I cannot change, and simply find a way to work around with it. When I did, my attitude changes. I had become more appreciative of my son’s quiet time, and there were less stress.

His schedule goes like these:

6:00am: Wake up. We stay in bed or in his crib playing until 7am.
6:30am: Milk breakfast, 2oz.
7:30am: Walk him outside in his stroller.
8:15am: Breakfast (cereal or toast and fruits).
8:30am: Play until he show signs of sleepiness.
9:00am: 1 hour nap (sometimes 9:30am), with 1oz milk.
10:00am: Wake up. Play time.
11:30am: Lunch (meat and veggies) and a 2oz milk.
12:30pm: Finish rest of milk
1:00pm: 2 to 2.5 hour nap (Added half an hour if it takes longer to put him back to sleep when he awakens. Goal is at least 2 hours).
3:30pm: Wake up. Play time. Some small snacks.
6:00pm: Cereal dinner and 6oz milk.
7:00pm: Bath time.
7:15pm: Book time. Bed time stories with daddy and mommy.
7:45pm: Finish rest of his milk from dinner. Start to soothe him to sleep.
8:00pm: Bed time.
12:30 or 1:00am: 2oz milk (depends on what time he starts fussing).

So here I am, typing with a baby napping in my other arm. I found a way to work with his 30 minutes waking time. I started moving fast with whatever it is I am doing at the time. So, before 30 minutes elapsed, I am there beside him, ready to rock him back to sleep before he become fully awake. It is much easier to put a baby back to sleep when he is half asleep. I simply tell myself, that someday soon, this stage too shall pass. Before I knew it, he will not want to sleep in my arms anymore, and I sure will miss that. Nowadays, when he sleeps in my arms, I stare at how peaceful he looks, and let myself enjoy those fleeting moments when he smiles and laugh in his sleep (he still does that).

In the morning, when he would fuss too early, I would put him in my chest and let him continue the rest of his sleep there, until he is ready to wake up, usually around 6am. When I am lucky, I get to go back to sleep with him in my chest. My hubby does this too when he doesn’t have to leave too early for work.

I had also read about CIO (Cry It Out Method). I tried it a few times, but it just isn’t for us. It might be working for others but not for us. I think it isn’t right to let your baby cry himself to sleep all alone, not to mention it doesn’t seem natural. My heart breaks when I hear him crying helplessly. There are a lot of negative arguments against CIO which I am not going to go in detail here. I just don’t want my baby to feel like we abandoned him or anything. And I stopped listening to people who are against co-sleeping. I love having Daniel sleep with us. I also stopped sleep training him to sleep in his own room. What we do, is usually let him start in his crib, but soon as we are ready to go to bed ourselves, we take him to our bed, what we now call “family bed”.

The only practical solution I came up with in the end is cease fighting. Accept and simply be grateful for each and every moment I spent with my healthy and happy baby. This stage is fleeting and before long, he will not even want to sleep with us. I am also trying to be more accepting of his wanting to be held all the time attitude. One day, a time will come when he will start to move on and become less dependent on me, becoming his own person. I’d hate to look back at the times I refused to hold him. No. I stand my ground. I will hold my son however much he wants, for as long as he wants, and for as long as he still needs me to.

Categories: Moods & Thoughts, My Life in General, Parenting | No Comments »